Desperately Alone
By Tisha
Rated PG-13

Setting: Soon after the end of the series.

	Usagi took a deep breath and paced back and forth, breathing heavily and wringing her hands together. She glanced up every few seconds to see if Rei was coming yet. It seemed like she'd been waiting forever but in reality it was probably only a few minutes. She just felt so completely helpless and like her life was utterly out of control. She needed to talk to someone, *anyone*, and for some reason she had thought of Rei first. Finally she saw Rei coming and she turned to her, nervously biting her lip.

	"Usagi-chan, what is all this urgency about? You sounded funny on the phone."

	Usagi nodded and sat on a nearby park bench, waiting for Rei to do so as well. She took another very deep breath to calm herself before spilling out what was bothering her. "Rei, I'm pregnant."

	Rei looked at her a second. "Wow. Well are you sure? When did this happen?"

	Usagi had to keep herself from getting aggravated by the questions. "Well I'm pretty sure. I've been feeling weird lately and I took two pregnancy tests and they were both positive."

	"Usagi, I just thought you'd be more responsible than this. I mean all these years you've probably been so cautious, did you just slip once or what?"

	Usagi looked confused for a second before realizing what she meant. "Rei-chan it was the first time. I know it was stupid to not use any protection but it was just very sudden."

	Rei's cheeks reddened a little bit. "Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I just kind of assumed." She sighed and looked seriously at Usagi. "I think you need to tell Mamoru."

	"I know that, but I'm a little afraid. I'm more afraid of my dad though." Usagi sighed and rested her face in her hands. "How'd I let this happen, Rei? Everything is going to get so complicated now."

	Rei smiled and put a supportive hand on her friend's arm. "It'll work out. You two love each other and you're destined to be together anyway. It's just going to be a little sooner than you planned. As for your dad, at least you have lots of other places to turn for support. We'll all be here for you."

	Usagi smiled. "Thanks. I guess I knew that. I'm just so nervous." She stood up and tried to build up her will. "I think I'll go now and tell Mamoru. I'm sure he'll be great about it. He'll have all the answers."

	Rei smiled. "I hope so. Good luck." With that the two friends parted and went separate directions. Usagi couldn't understand why she was so nervous. She'd never been nervous about Mamoru before. This was going to be a lot harder than she would have ever imagined.

•••••••••••••••••••

	Usagi found that she was incredibly nervous as soon as she was in sight of Mamoru's door. She took a few deep breaths before knocking softly. She waited a minute and heard nothing so she tried again, knocking harder. Usagi sighed. "Of course, he's not home." The thought of having to wait even longer to tell him was horrible but it was her only option so she slowly headed home, thinking about being pregnant and having a baby and also about whether they'd get married before or after the baby was born. Suddenly she got an idea. 

	Maybe if she and Mamoru could quickly elope she could just pretend that she got pregnant after they were married. Sure her parents would be mad about her getting eloped but not as mad as they'd be about her being pregnant and unmarried. With thoughts forming in her head she arrived home and headed straight to her room. She wanted to avoid her parents because she suddenly felt very awkward around them. She called Mamoru and left him a message, simply saying that she wanted to see him. With her new plan in mind she went to bed, hoping to talk to Mamoru the next day.

•••••••••••••••••••

	Usagi tried him again first thing in the morning but there was still no answer. With way too much on her mind she had to head off to school. It was torture to sit through all of her classes and she was awkward around her friends because she didn't want to tell them yet. School finally ended and she wanted to head to Mamoru's apartment but Minako begged her to go to the arcade with them so she agreed. 

	Rei met them there and asked to see Usagi alone. Usagi looked at Ami, Minako, and Makoto but they weren't paying much attention to it so Usagi followed her off to the side a bit.

	"Well? What happened with Mamoru?"

	"He wasn't home. I wanted to go see him today but I'm here instead."

	"Oh, have you told the others yet?"

	"No, I want to tell Mamoru first." Rei agreed and with that they went back to the rest of the girls and Usagi tried to ignore all the thoughts in her head, although it was very hard to do.

•••••••••••••••••••

	A week later Usagi had been to Mamoru's apartment every day and called him at least three times a day and she still hadn't talked to him once. All of her friends now knew that she was pregnant but she tried to avoid questions about Mamoru. She was getting terrified now not only about her parents' reactions but also about Mamoru and why she couldn't find him. She was already two months pregnant and she'd have to tell her parents before she started showing. But she didn't want to tell her parents until she told Mamoru.

	A knock on the door forced her from her thoughts and she sighed. "Come in." It was Rei. "Rei-chan, what are you doing here?"

	Rei came and sat next to her on her bed. "Every time I ask you about Mamoru you find a way to change the subject. Did he react badly? I want to know, Usagi. You shouldn't be alone at a time like this."

	Usagi bit her lip. She really was dying for someone to confide in. "Well, all right, I'll tell you. I haven't seen him. I left him a message a week ago but ever since then when I call no one answers and when I go there he's not home. I'm getting worried about him Rei."

	Rei looked at the floor for a minute. She couldn't help but be concerned for her friend. "When was the last time you saw him?"

	Usagi had to think for a minute. "Well I don't know, I talked to him on the phone about two weeks ago. He said he had lots of tests so he was always studying. Maybe that's it. Maybe he just never answers because he's busy studying." She thought about that for a minute. "No, that couldn't be because he still wouldn't ignore my message. Rei, what if something has happened to him? Something enemy-wise I mean."

	Rei sighed and Usagi caught the fact that she wasn't making eye contact. "What, Rei, what is it?"

	"You said you talked to him on the phone two weeks ago right? Well when was it that you slept together? Have you ever seen him since then, except for him to make excuses over the phone?"

	Usagi stood up in anger. "How dare you imply something like that about Mamo-chan? He loves me! He has been busy the last month but this week is different. Something has happened to him and I really don't care if you help me or not but I am going to find him!"

	Rei stood up. "Usagi-chan, please don't do anything dangerous-"

	"Will you please leave?"

	Rei looked at her for a second with concern before silently nodding and leaving the room. Usagi shut the door behind her and then collapsed onto her bed in a torrent of tears. She knew Mamoru would never purposely hurt her like this but still it did seem like his behavior had been a little strange. She was still determined to find out where he was.
	
•••••••••••••••••••

	Usagi knocked on Ami's door and waited impatiently. Rei didn't believe her and wouldn't help her but maybe Ami would.

	"Usagi-chan." Ami stated, sounding kind of surprised to see her.
	"Are you busy?" Usagi poked her head in to make sure Ami didn't have company, specifically Rei.

	"I was just studying. Come on in."

	Usagi came in and wasted no time. "Ami, I know something has happened to Mamo-chan and I want you to help me find him."

	Ami tilted her head sympathetically. "I'm so sorry Usagi-chan, I'd really like to believe that Mamoru isn't doing this to you but I've already tried scanning for evil and found nothing."

	Usagi couldn't hold the tears that welled up in her eyes.

	"Usagi, please don't cry. We'll all be here for you. Maybe Mamoru just needs time to sort things out, you know, maybe it'll all be fine. There's still hope."

	Usagi shook her head angrily as tears continued to streak down her face. "I thought of all people you might be on my side. How come no one will believe me? Why do you all think so badly about Mamo-chan?"	

	"Usagi, I...I'm sorry but there isn't evil around."

	Usagi turned and let herself out. She quickly walked her way to Mamoru's apartment building. She knocked desperately on the door and like usual there was no answer. She glanced up and down the hall and saw that no one was around. She noticed an emergency ax nearby and she determinedly grabbed it and started hacking away at the door. She got it opened and quickly went inside, hoping no one was home in the nearby apartments to call the police. 

	She glanced around the dark apartment and saw nothing out of the ordinary. A blinking light caught her eye and she realized that it was his answering machine. There were 12 messages on it. She pressed play.

	"Chiba-san, it is unacceptable to miss an entire week if you want to pass your classes. You'd better show up on Monday or your scholarship will be in serious trouble."

	"Mamoru, this is Motoki. Why'd you blow me off yesterday? We were going to see a movie, remember? Call me back. You'd better have a good excuse."

	The messages went on and on. He hadn't checked his messages or showed up for anything in the last two months. Her message was on there too, and he'd never heard it. Once she told this to Rei and the others they'd have to believe her. But if she didn't go home she'd be late for dinner. With a sigh she headed home, planning to talk to her friends the next day.


To be continued...

In part 2... Usagi is now convinced that Mamoru is missing...until she gets a call from him that confirms her friends' suspicions and alerts her parents of her condition.